February 6, 2023
So Long Self
God sure has a funny way of settling the score and righting wrongs. You may think things are going your way and you can do no wrong, but please take it from me, your bill will come due and you will pay in full. In the past, for every unselfish thing I did for my wife throughout the early part of our marriage, my wife did 4 or 5 for me. This incredible level of selfishness would lead my down horrible paths and would almost cost me my marriage. For while I seemed like I got away with this. But God has all the time in the world to come collect on your debts.
I would eventually snap out of my horrible behavior and realize just how wonderful of a wife I had been blessed with as God lead us back together. I knew I needed to prove I had changed for good. Deeds over words. I thought I was doing a good job of showing over saying, but God had a level of showing far beyond anything I could have thought of.
My wife, for those of you who haven't read my past few posts, has been diagnosed for breast cancer. We had just moved back under the same roof together (after 5 plus years of separation) in October only to be hit with this 2 months later. In essence God pulled me aside and told me "remember the small clause in your vows that said in sickness and in health, well I meant that". I now have to do most, if not all, of the things my wife did that I took for granted. I wake up every morning , put her daily medications out, and do as many chores as I can before leaving for work. After work I come home, pick up after our granddaughters, make dinner, clean up the table and do the dishes. I relax for few min then off to bed and get ready to do all over again.
I'm prepared to do even more for her starting next week when she starts chemo. I try my best to do this with as much love as I can muster, and not do it just out of a sense of duty. I have not come close to paying the debts I owe in full. I am incredibly thankful to my wife and to my God for the opportunity to settle my debts and to get back in both their good graces. I can really appreciate the passage from Mark up above. I put myself in the role of Peter's mother in law. While I wasn't laid out with a physical illness, i was under the control unrepentant sin. And while in that condition God also put his hand out to me and graciously forgave my sin and healed me. And after being healed and helped back up, i began to serve him. I took my wedding vows along with Matthew 25:40 to heart. My new mission in life is to aid and serve my wife with all my heart as she fights this cancer scurge. So long self.
Matthew 25:40
And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Here's a song from which I took the title for this post;